Sgt. Bilko is a 1996 American comedy film directed by Jonathan Lynn and written by Andy Breckman. It is an adaptation of the iconic 1950s television series The Phil Silvers Show, often informally called Sgt. Bilko, or simply Bilko, and stars Steve Martin, Dan Aykroyd and Phil Hartman.
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Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko is in charge of the motor pool at Fort Baxter, a small US Army base. Exploiting this position, he directs a number of scams ranging from gambling to renting out military vehicles. His commanding officer, Colonel John Hall, overlooks Bilko's money-making schemes, as he is more concerned with his own affairs. Bad news begins when Major Colin Thorn, an officer from the US Army Inspector-General's Office, arrives at the camp and begins to cast scrutiny on Bilko's record.
Officially, Thorn is at Fort Baxter to conduct a general inspection of the base and determine if it should remain open in light of recent defense cutbacks. However, he is in fact determined to get revenge on Bilko to settle an old score the two have from Fort Dix, in which Thorn was nearly court-martialled in the midst of a fixed boxing match and resulted in Thorn shipped off to Greenland. Major Thorn, bitter and unprincipled, is not above breaking the law to ruin Bilko. Thorn also attempts to steal Bilko's long-time fiancee Rita, whom he has stood up on the altar more than a dozen times. Rita, despite being fond of Bilko, is tired of waiting for him to finally marry her and gives him 30 days to win her back or lose her for good.
Bilko, with the help of newly-assigned PFC Wally Holbrook, devises a means of avoiding Major Thorn's attempt to transfer him to Greenland. He rigs a demonstration of the base's malfunctioning hovertank, put on before a four-star general and numerous dignitaries. Since Thorn had deliberately tried to sabotage the tank the previous night, he confronts Bilko, Hall, and the general, loudly insulting Bilko and Hall and in the midst of his ranting confesses to sabotaging the hovertank. Major Thorn is sent off again to Greenland and Sergeant Bilko is safe as chief of the motorpool once more.
However, by this time the last day of Rita's ultimatum has come. Just as Rita sadly begins to write Bilko off forever, she hears men outside her house, singing one of her and Bilko's favorite songs. Looking outside, she sees Bilko and his platoon on the lawn. Bilko asks Rita to marry him, and despite deliberately showing up late as Bilko did so many times, Rita does so.
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